Choosing which friends and family she wants as her maid or matron of honor and bridesmaids is one of the first things on any bride’s mental wedding to-do-list. This can be an easy choice if she has a lifelong best friend that she’s made a pack with to be maid of honor at each others weddings. But what if you just don’t feel that close to her anymore. She’s still a friend, but a childhood friend. You keep in touch, perhaps have lunch on occasion, but you’ve since made friends with which you have a much closer bond. What do you do?

If you don’t feel it’s right, then you need to go with your heart. Some feelings may be hurt, but your wedding only comes once and you should make this decision accordingly, not out of childhood obligation. There’s a lot of responsibility that falls to your maid of honor and attendants. Organizing various activities, such as your bridal shower, keeping your ring safe, possibly accompanying you when you choose your designer wedding gown, and picking out the attendant’s dresses, just to name a few. Make sure the people you select are going to be reliable and can handle the many details that are sure to occur.

Once you’ve decided who you’d like to ask to be your attendants, ask them all at once. Don’t spread the invitations out since it may cause those who are asked later to feel they weren’t your first choice. You can either ask them in person, by phone, with a pre-printed note, or a hand written personalized letter. Any one of these would be acceptable. Give them all the pertinent information so they can decide if they will be able to commit. Be prepared for someone to decline and accept it graciously, don’t put them on the spot by prying into their decision. This is a good reason for having asked enough friends and family that you’ll still have enough attendants if someone does have to decline.

Now for the bridesmaids dresses. We’ve all see those horrific cotton candy, poofy sleeve dresses that are worn once and hung in the back of the closet never to be seen again. Times have definitely changed. Just as in those designer wedding gowns, the one style that is flattering for all body types is the A-line. Keep that in mind when looking at gowns for your attendants. If not everyone in the bridal party is tall and slender, the A-line will probably be the best choice.

Have an idea in mind before you go shopping. Look on-line at the many bridal sites and print some pictures to take with you, or cut some pictures from bridal magazines. Keep in mind what your designer wedding gown looks like, will the wedding party compliment the bride. You want to have your maid of honor help with this, but unless you have a very small bridal party, taking everyone the first time out is not advisable. Once you choose the style and color, then you could let each attendant select her favorite shade, which will give each one individual personality.